The First Week of School: Why Your Child’s Mental Health Matters More Than Their Backpack Color

The first week of school is a rollercoaster for kids and parents. Between searching for headphones that aren’t Bluetooth, don’t cost $50, and won’t break in a week, and trying to remember a new bus schedule, it’s easy to forget that the biggest back-to-school challenge isn’t wearing the latest trends or having a perfectly packed pencil case. It’s mental health.

And here’s the kicker: that rocky first week can actually set the tone for the rest of the school year.

Why the First Week Feels Like Mood Swings Made the Supply List

Kids aren’t just adjusting to earlier wakeups and cafeteria mystery meat; they’re navigating anxiety, mood swings, and behavior changes that often show up in the first days back. Research reminds us that about one in five children experiences a significant mental health concern, but only a fraction receives timely support (Mendenhall, 2012).

So, if your child suddenly transforms into an Oscar nominee in training, sobbing, “You don’t understand me!” over a bowl of cereal, remember that stress often hides behind irritability, withdrawal, or trouble concentrating. Don’t ignore the warning signs. When these struggles aren’t addressed early, they ripple through the entire year. The good news is you don’t always need to leap straight into formal intervention. Sometimes, starting with patience, humor, and minor adjustments at home can ease the tension. But if the big emotions don’t ease up and start affecting everyday life, that’s when reaching out for help can make all the difference.

Parents, You’re on a Journey (and It’s Not a Straight Line)

If you’ve ever felt like getting support for your child is harder than snagging Taylor Swift tickets, you’re not imagining it. Research shows that parents often end up meeting with around five different professionals before finally landing on the right services (Anderson et al., 2017). And it’s rarely about just one issue; it’s usually a mix, like anxiety with trouble focusing, or behavior challenges with sleep problems.

Sometimes, parents even agree to treatments they’re not entirely confident in, simply because choices are limited (Anderson et al., 2017). That doesn’t mean you’re indecisive; it just means you’re navigating a complicated system that isn’t built for simplicity.

The School’s Role, More Than ABCs and 123s

Schools aren’t just where math facts live; they’re “gateway providers” for mental health (Mendenhall, 2012). Teachers and school staff are often the first to notice when something’s off, and they’re the ones nudging parents to get extra support.

This is both wonderful and stressful. Wonderful, because kids spend a lot of time in classrooms and teachers see things parents may miss. Stressful, because it means parents now have multiple voices in the mix, often with different perspectives.

The Research on Resilience, Parents Matter (A Lot)

When it comes to kids’ resilience, parents set the stage. A study of Chinese schoolchildren found that mothers’ growth mindset strongly predicted whether their kids maintained a growth mindset over time (Chen & Liu, 2023). Translation: if you model the belief that “abilities can grow with effort,” your child is more likely to carry that belief into their schoolwork.

And mindset isn’t the only factor. Another helpful strategy is teaching kids healthy routines through philosophical thinking; an approach that encourages critical, creative, and caring thought. In practice, that means slowing down to ask open-ended questions, letting kids wonder out loud, and guiding them to think about not just what they do but why they do it. Instead of saying, “Eat your vegetables because I said so,” you might ask, “How do you think broccoli helps your body?” Or when bedtime turns into negotiations, you could explore, “What happens to our mood or focus when we don’t get enough sleep?” This style of reflective questioning helps kids connect choices to outcomes, practice empathy, and see themselves as active decision-makers. Research shows that this kind of approach can strengthen habits around nutrition, sleep, and social skills (Khoramaki et al., 2025).

So, What Can Parents Do This First Week?

• The first week isn’t about perfection, it’s about creating a foundation:

• Notice stress signals, meltdowns may mean more than “back-to-school blues.” Pay attention early.

• Model resilience, when your child sees you tackle challenges with flexibility (and maybe humor), they’re more likely to do the same.

• Lean on schools, teachers aren’t just grading spelling tests, they’re often the first to recognize when extra help is needed.

• Expect a zigzag path; getting support may involve multiple professionals and more than one “trial and error” step. It’s not failure, it’s the process.

• Make room for philosophy at home, encourage kids to ask questions, reflect, and explore their feelings. This kind of thinking can strengthen both health habits and coping skills.

Final Thought: It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint

That first week of school can feel overwhelming, but it’s also an opportunity. By approaching it with empathy, humor, and an eye on mental health, you’re not just surviving September. You’re laying the groundwork for your child’s success in the months ahead.

And remember, when your child says, “I don’t want to go to school,” sometimes they’re not resisting learning. Sometimes they’re asking for reassurance that they can handle what’s ahead. With the proper support from parents, schools, and communities, the answer is yes, they can.